it snowed today. something i didnt want just because it would change everything this coming week, and most likely not giving me the freetime that i would have liked.
but i just feel like i'm missing out on life. that it's my fault.
i have to deactivate my facebook soon, or i'm going to go insane from envy. i cant even look at people's pictures from their epic adventures i just can't seem to have.
i take a walk. i take some pictures. but they don't look anything like their pictures.
what am i doing wrong?
all this awesome stuff is happening to people, and all i've got is my stupid self. i feel like everyone is written into this song about how they spend endless nights chasing after towns, having fun, singing songs, laughing, doing the weirdest stuff, and i'm just the punk who downloaded it from the internet. but i cant even do that because i don't have the right stuff.
i just feel like i'm missing something big. like the ability to be naturally fun and creative. like artists. i just don't get them. you give them a pen and paper, and they just start drawing. theres no questions, no thinking. they just do. but me, i like struggle my way through doodling. i say its not pressured, but it completely is. i wouldnt be comparing myself if i wasnt content with what i am doing.
i sometimes wonder if my own sin has done this to me. or if i just naturally distance myself from others.
snow days aren't meant to be spent alone.
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