drawing with words, writing with pictures. none of it can capture what im feeling right now.
el grande dolor pero, no puedo llorar.
oh Lord, intercede with the groans that i cannot express, for i do not know what i ought to pray for.
off a poetic note, i should announce that i lost all relations with school. ive officially checked out of butler by terminating the last of my school friendships. they never would have lasted anyways. but im officially not going to prom, fourty bucks down the drain. managing relationships with people who are not christians is a tough task. i do not understand how Jesus did it. they will never understand me, or my relationship with God (though they call it a foolish religion). they doubt my faith. they doubt me. they mock me every day. according to them, and I QUOTE i "don't know shit about the work. [i] dont see past [my]self." if i had my bible with me, i would look up where it says "their words lash out against me all day long, i suffer from their tenses." its somewhere, worded basically like that. but the address is unknown to me.
the point is that im done with these phoney relationships. i hate being dropped by my friends, or rather, those who surround my life.
i know God has made me hyperaware of my friendships for a reason, but i do not yet know why. i value them so much, im so afraid to be left alone in the awful world. i have nothing productive left to say on this matter, however venting is oh so necessary right now.
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