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stomach hurts. want to throw up and pass out at the same time. my body is telling me how tired i am. there is so much to be done, so much i'd rather be doing right now. i could handle it before. its just that now, i feel like i am wasting time in the areas that matter the most. this junior paper has gotten me all in a fuss. class of 13 doesnt have to do it, but class of 12 does. what gives? arg. its argumentative too. not just a boring ol research paper. its making me so frustrated.

i am just so tired. work is killing me. sounds pathetic. but people dont understand how hard it is to watch 7 children, ages 5-10 for four hours. its a lot harder than you think. especially when alone. everyone is touching you, everyone asks questions, everyone critiques. they are lucky they are blocked by childhood ignorance.

unlike instructor tarrus, who's snappy remarks are just not wanted. theres this one guy who comes like every other day to king tiger, he teaches class and helps leads and what not. but he a jerk to the kids and to me. if someone is changing in the bathroom, he makes them get out so he can change. even if these kids are butt naked. he doesnt even use the mens bathroom, he changes in the womans! kicks the girls out, and changes. thats just wrong. plus, he acts like he's never had kids himself, when in fact, he is married and has two college kids. he speaks spanish, but he mocks me for mine. he corrects every word i say, the only difference is that his accent is stronger. he's got an ego. and it really ticks me off when he tells me how to do my job. like today, i was talking to a disobedient mexican girl, who speaks more english than spanish, but still not much of both. i was speaking in english, and this guy comes of and starts pattering off in spanish. i understood most of it, stuff like "listen to us, you need to tell us whats wrong. get up, talk to us, smile, be happy." i got all that. but what's funny is that the little girl didnt. another kid said that she didnt understand what he said, i said i caught a little bit of it, and he turns and laughs and said to be "nahh, no you didnt." and it really ticked me off, because i did. im not some ignorant gringa! but then the little girl he was lecturing is like "i dont understand him!" and she ran off. it was so hilarious. i laughed my freakin butt off.

crap. its 12 am. i have to get up in 5 hours. ughhhhh. i freakin hate this. i am gone from 6:30 am- 6:30 pm every day. i dont start hw till about 7:30. if even that. ughhfhdagvhsdlknghsdhkhdvkhvzdkvhd. life is stressful right now. im so sleepy.